Am on a roll, I have about fifteen minutes spare (thank you Postman Pat) so here goes...

One of the things running through my head at the moment, fighting for thought space, in a head crowded out by the immediate needs of a husband and three gorgeous under-5s (one with ASD) is that my biggest boy (Formally Known As Little Boy) starts school. Next Monday. EEEEEEEEEEEK.

I was a wreck at the end of his preschool year, I am in denial about school. His teacher is coming tomorrow to do her home visit and bringing the uniform we ordered in June. Then I will have to face facts. He is growing up. And I cannot be there to fight all his battles, put his shoes on, pull his t-shirt out of his trousers after he has been to the bathroom. I won't be there to make sure he eats his sandwiches first at lunchtime, before his apple and his biscuit, and most heart breaking of all, I won't be there to remind the other kids to be kind. Because he says things out of context, he gets overwhelmed by noise and excitement, he runs across football games without a second thought and they won't understand it's 'cause his brain won't work like that. So he will cry, he will crumple. And they won't understand it's his way of coping. He thinks everyone is his friend, his best friend. He doesn't know that people will be mean and they won't like him. Just because that's what people are like. And I want to protect him from that, but I cannot. He had an introduction to it of course, at preschool, but the ratio of staff to little ones is HUGE compared to a teacher and TA in a class of 29. I am so thankful that under 5s inclusion services had input in to which class he went in, they see the overview of all the additional needs entering the school, but even so, he is vulnerable. But I will wave him off with a smile on Monday, and I will believe that he is able to make friends, and that he will be stronger for having the school experience.

Most of all I will trust God with him, because God first trusted us with our biggest boy.